10 weeks ago I spent my Friday evening baking Browned Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies and a Lemon Poppyseed Loaf. As happens while spending time in my kitchen, there was plenty of mandatory tasting of unbaked goods. The result was the all-too-frequent feeling of nausea from a sugar overload and a tremendous sense of guilt.
As they say… I hit my bottom. And my actual bottom agreed.
A well-timed tweet from Absolut(ly) Fit and The Great Fitness Experiment re-introduced me to the strength training concepts of Rachel Cosgrove. 10 minutes later, my iPad was home to Rachel’s book “The Female Body Breakthrough” and my entire evening was spent absorbing as much as I possibly could. At that moment it was difficult to tell if my stomach was in knots from the anticipation of venturing from the group exercise room (female togetherness!) to the big, bad world of weights or whether it was just an emerging case of salmonella.
I began Week #1 going full-throttle. Excel spreadsheets were created, diet plans for the month mapped out, and instructions for each exercise read at least 15 times each. A plan of this type for Type As should come with rainbows and butterflies. Chances to give myself stars for workouts? Shooting for 90% of eating right? 90%?! Why wouldn’t I go for 100%?
This is where I should say that I failed miserably. That I was too gung-ho. That I should have eased into the diet and strength training. But I can’t. 10 weeks in and I am rocking it.
Those cookies? Replaced by Tera’s Whey protein shakes a few times a week. TurboKick booty shaking sessions? This booty is now shaking from Bulgarian split squats.
It did, however, take me 8 weeks at least to reconcile that I cannot eat perfectly for life and that I won’t suddenly be sporting Madonna arms. It also continues to take a tremendous amount of courage to spend time out of my comfort zone in the gym. Where at any moment I could be judged by onlookers who see my pathetic attempts at pushups or a giggle could be stifled when the Swiss ball decides to take a little solo journey while I try strike a plank on it.
It’s tough to be so vulnerable and continuing to grow in this area is going to be what getting over perfectionism is all about. That Excel spreadsheet? Workouts continue to be tracked…meal tracking? Not so much. It’s time to trust myself.